Aqua-Soft Forumslast night i was lying in bed, gazing up at the stars, and i started thinking...where the **** is my ceiling
Post Your One Liners
Septic Tank Truck sign reads:
"We're #1 in the #2 business".
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local Plumbing Company
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's Truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a No Smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place."
On a Taxidermist's Window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's Office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen Welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a Restaurant Window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:.
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Tank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak"
'The man who farts in church gets his own pew'.
lol! Yes, we really needed this 
LMFAO @ Duckie! 
person1: Girls only say one thing to me, "no, stop, dont".
person2: Naw man, you got it backwards, girls only tell me "no, dont stop"
To all a good day, a good day to all! 
"Why do you have to click the start button to shut down the computer? Shouldnt it be the "Finish" Button?"
Oxymoron
"Microsoft Works"
"A home wrapped up with love, Husband presents wife their 1st house, tied with a 55 foot bow"
"Obscure 80s pop-culture reference"
If you were a gentleman you wouldn't make me do this.
If you were a lady you wouldn't talk with your mouth full
Originally posted by Duckie@Dec 22 2002, 02:19 AMlast night i was lying in bed, gazing up at the stars, and i started thinking...where the **** is my ceiling
Good old dilbert. 
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
blah, blah....etc... 