Aqua-Soft ForumsA question you will never get asked by someone you know. An appropriate one for this site.
As you may or may not know, how you use your toilet paper can actually tell a great deal about you.
There are three main types of usage, amount, compression, texture. All will help you find out where you fit in the toilet paper world.
I'll start out with the first one, usage.
Usage = Number of squares the you use on average. There are a couple major categories in this first type.
There are the following:
Big Spender - This toilet paper user knows what he wants, he wants A LOT of toilet paper. He knows that he's using way more toilet paper than is humanly necessary, but he doesn't care. He could really care less about his usage, he'll use as much as he freakin wants to use, and no one is gonna stop him from using half the roll if it strikes his fancy to do so.
Minimalist - This toilet paper user is 2 sheet or less kinda guy. He's determined with saving the environment, or saving money, or just generally seeing how little he can use. He's just a frugal toilet paper user and he takes pride in using less than the average joe.
Freak Show - This toilet paper use actually knows exactly how many squares he's going to use before he walks into the bathroom. And lets face it, that's just plain weird.
Second Helper- No this guy does not need someone to help him get the toilet paper, this toilet paper user almost always underestimates how much he will need (usually because he's a bad wiper and messes up the wipe) and goes back for seconds to complete the Job
The next category is Compression.
Everyone has a way they compress their toilet paper before they wipe.
There are a couple different compression methods that toilet paper users use.
There is the Crumplers, Folders, double folders, fold - then crumple, use then fold, use-as-is.
Crumplers- This toilet paper user typically takes the amount of toilet paper and crumples it up into almost a ball, then proceeds to use it to wipe. Crumplers feel that the crumples help to more better do the job than the regular smooth surface.
Folders - This toilet paper user typically folds whatever amount of toilet paper they have. Folders believe that the surface of the toilet paper is adequate for completing their mission. Folders also believe that toilet paper isn't as thick as it should be, therefore they fold to prevent soaking through.
Double folders - This toilet paper user typically double folds whatever amount of toilet paper they have. Double folders tend to be very cautious about how the thickness of the toilet paper, their biggest fear is soaking through. As a result they double fold.
The Crumple then folder- This toilet paper user is a hybrid of the folder and crumpler. Not only are they concerned about the texture of the toilet paper, but they also fear soaking through. This user typically is a big spender when it comes to usage.
Use-Then-unfold - This toilet paper user typically folds their toilet paper to start, but then after the first wipe, unfolds the paper revealing a clean edge to rework. This toilet paper is usually a minimalist in disguise. They generally use normal amounts of toilet paper, but don't be fooled, they are also minimalist in nature, they just aren't as good as wiping as a normal minimalist, and thus typically use more toilet paper than a true minimalist.
Use-As-Is - This toilet paper is one of the most dangerous toilet paper users around. This toilet paper user simply uses the square AS IS, they have absolutely NO COMPRESSION METHOD which generally results in soaking through followed by soiled hands. NEVER TRUST A USE AS IS USER.
The last category is texture.
There are only a couple users in the texture category.
There is the: Paul Bunion user, Cloud user, Normal toilet paper user.
The Paul Bunion User - This toilet paper user typically uses rough texture, either for two reasons. 1. They're too cheap to give their bum the proper comfort it needs so they buy the cheap toilet paper.
2. They actually prefer rough texture because they believe it does the job better than the softer brands
The Cloud User- This toilet paper user prefers to treat their bum to a toilet paper heaven treat.
When it comes to their butt, money is not an object, only the most costly toilet paper will do.
The Normal User- This toilet paper goes for a mix of cost and softness. They want their money's worth, but they don't want to go all out on their butt.
And thus completes this description. Now please list your type.
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