Poem for my sweetheart

I am planning to propose to my longtime gf this sunday. I have already planned out the entire thing right down to the ring etc etc. I am trying to compose some sort of a poem since I am not good at saying these things directly. Here it is :

Life before you was just a daze,

Longing eagerly for your embrace,

Then I found what I was looking for,

Love as fresh as morning dew,

As pure and innocent as a child’s smile,

As inviting as a cool breeze on a dreary night,

As delicate as a the first blossoms of spring,

As sweet as God’s elixir,

I found you !

And I always will keep saying this you,

“Honey! I love you!”

Do you guys think this is good enough ?? I really want this thing to go perfectly as I have been planning this for a longtime.

#391029

You're not a poet... and now you now it.

Not to sound harsh, but the poem is cheesey at best.

If you really love this woman enough to want to marry her, saying what you have to say should not be hard at all.

Speak from your heart. When I proposed to my wife, I dropped to one knee in the middle of a crowded restaraunt and asked her to marry me in front of the world.

That's how much I love her.

You need to sweep her off her feet. Be bold!!!

Remember, you're asking this woman to be your wife.

#391053

Well. There's a love poem I really like, from Elizabeth Barret Browning. Hope it can be useful

XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,— I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!— and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

#391068

I couldn't find the food you like

I couldn't find a card

So I hope these flowers say it best:

Dear Lord you make me hard

If this doesn't woo her, I don't know what will. Best of luck mate

#391085

Very sweet! I knoq if I was your gf, I would feel very loved and special. It is a little cheesy, but still when a bf take the time to write you a poem, girlfriends feel very important. I'm still waiting for zpodseven to even show an interest in rings.

#391086

Priceless.

I couldn't find the food you like

I couldn't find a card

So I hope these flowers say it best:

Dear Lord you make me hard

If this doesn't woo her, I don't know what will. Best of luck mate

#391087

No wonder Simon doesn't score with the ladies...

-NC

#391098

How about Shakespeare?

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red, than her lips red:

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound:

I grant I never saw a goddess go,

My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:

And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare,

As any she belied with false compare.

There are 153 other sonnets to choose from

Cheers

#391101

I wouldn't use a poem already made by someone (especially not one by Shakespeare), that's just an argument coming.

The poem is indeed seem cheesy. But if she really loves you, she couldn't care less. The fact is that you wrote it, you believe it, you made it for her. That's what she will see.

@ spygirl - Give this message to zpod: Ah-hem...

RUN!!!

That is all.

#391111

@Wizard

What do you have against Shakespeare? he's okay I think.

Well, If he doesn't like Shakespeare, He can always go with Andrew Marvell

#391114

I didn't mean anything against Shakespeare, but don't pick such a main stream poet to use a poem/sonet from. There would be nothing like having a few years down the road: hey, you know that poem that you wooed me with when you proposed to me? That was from freaking Bill Shakespeare!

Personally, I like e.e. cummings, but that's just me.

#391116

I couldn't find the food you like

I couldn't find a card

So I hope these flowers say it best:

Dear Lord you make me hard

If this doesn't woo her, I don't know what will. Best of luck mate

LMFAOOOO! OMG, I'm dying.

#391121